K-State Survivors of Sexual Assault Speak Out

One out of every five college students will be sexually assaulted or an attempt will be made on them. What if it was someone you know? How do you talk to a friend or family member who has gone through sexual trauma? What do you say? What should you not say? As caring people we all want to respond in a multitude of ways when someone we love is harmed; however, often in the throes of our emotional reaction we forget the needs of the victim.

Survivors appreciate it when you do:

Listen and reach out
Ask what the survivor needs
Hugs are welcome, but ask for permission first
Acknowledge the weight of the assault
Recognize how significant of an impact the assault has on the survivor's life
Remember that recovery is a process and the survivor will not be "better" overnight
Be understanding of behavioral changes as they occur over time
Raise awareness about both sexual assault and the recovery process
Stand up for yourself and others

Survivors appreciate it when you don’t:

Blame the survivor by implying they were somehow at fault
Minimize the situation by saying things like, "It will be O.K." or "You'll get over it." Comments such as these may cause more harm than good. Sometimes saying nothing is best
Force the survivor to talk about the attack
Act like a counselor. Just be a friend
React violently by threatening to harm the perpetrator
Survivors are reaching out to you for a reason; respect that reason by not bringing up your own problems