Sadness wants us to come to terms with loss
Sadness alerts us that we have lost something precious. Grief is the work of healing, of reassembling ourselves from who we once were to who we can be. With sadness, we feel “broken up.” The head knows that the loss is permanent. Grief brings the reality of that loss to the heart.

We experience and work through grief in different ways. Sometimes the enormity of the loss can be so great that we have to keep reality at our doorstep and allow it to enter only a little bit at a time. For example, a woman whose husband or child has died may begin frantically to clean her house. Others may respond with numb shock. We don’t want to talk or listen. We want to give free reign to our grief. Maybe the best way someone can help us is to hold our hand, keep us safe, provide water, and tissues.

The risk of sadness is depression. Depression is a continued retreat from facing pain, a capitulation over time to the power of grief turned against oneself. Like other forms of emotional hijacking, depression is dangerous. A deeply depressed person needs professional help.