Synchronize with nonverbal behavior
Harmonizingwith a Friend’s behavior also helps strengthen rapport. Harmonize means matching what Friends express—their mood, body language, speech patterns, breathing, or beliefs. When we harmonize, we naturally and spontaneously mirror a Friend’s behaviors. For example, as we establish rapport, we cross our arms when Friends cross their arms. We smile when they smile or grimace when they frown. Tears appear in our eyes when Friends cry. When they care about each other, people synchronize their bodies and movement.

You might be asking yourself, “I thought you said to remove barriers. Isn’t crossing your arms putting up a barrier?”

No, it isn’t if it reflects Friends’ postures. If Friends move behind a barrier, we should respect their choice and understand that needing a barrier might reveal insecurity and a need for self-protection. If we cross our arms too, we bring ourselves into alignment with Friends. In a future frame, we will discuss how we can shift to a more open posture.

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