The pain of feeling alone
When someone suffers a terrible loss they often discover that people won’t talk to them. The widower may receive calls of condolence but find that no one really wants to talk with him about his loss. The adolescent daughter may believe her mother won’t understand the heartbreak of her breakup with her boyfriend. People who might be in a position to help are afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing something wrong, or intruding. So we make excuses for avoiding emotionally-responsive talk, or intrude arrogantly with our preconceived solutions.

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Ritual or Recognition