Coming to terms with loss
Grief brings about a disconnection between the heart (the limbic system arousal) and the mind (the thinking cortex). We may “know” that a loss has occurred in the rational part of our minds. But the heart lags behind, refuses to accept the reality. Effective help provides the support and patience for Friends to bear the burden of grief to bring their heart and mind together gradually in harmony. No one else can do this for Friends.
                                                    
The experience of grief is necessary for this harmony to take place. Grief is a tug of war between the heart and mind. Ultimately, the goal is not “winning” but bringing both mind and heart together. But this harmony can only be achieved by allowing the heart to express itself fully. Refusing to grieve and assume the burden can prolong the disconnection and suffering. Keep in mind that we all have ways of expressing grief to achieve this harmony.

When Friends begin to talk to us, to begin thinking, we are beginning to move away from the Threshold to meet them at the next phase of Stabilize.