People who have self-respect are essentially kind
I believe that people who have self-respect are essentially kind. Unkind people have been bruised and hurt in some substantial way. They do not really care about themselves (although their actions may seem to imply they do). They have no real enthusiasm or hope. And they have the rage of the powerless. My bet is that the person you identified is more caring of others than ego-focused. This person may not fit an image of friendliness or even be effusive in their affection. Are those traits critical for self-respect?