Reasonable
What One way to judge whether a limit is reasonable is to check with experts or read books about children. Even more important, though, is recognizing your child as an individual. Children burdened by unreasonable limits will show signs of stress. They may become angry with themselves for failing, or they may give up trying at all. They may become moody and depressed or even angry and defiant. You are in the best position to see these symptoms of unreasonable limits. No one can know your child as completely as you. Limits should be set so a child can succeed while being challenged. If children cannot be good at succeeding then they are tempted to be good at failing.
❖ JOURNAL 11: Your childhood limits
What kinds of rules did your parents have for you when you were a child? Write down as many as you can remember, starting with your preschool years. How did you typically respond to these rules? Which ones were fair and which were unfair? What impact did these rules have on you as an adult? Do you have similar rules for your own children? Discuss these early memories of limits with a friend. Record some of the rules you can recall.
Complete Worksheet #7 Evaluating fairness in your Responsive Discipline Journal.
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