We invest our stories with meaning
Every story has meaning, the essential core ideas found in the story. Our challenge is to recognize explicit meaning—what Friends are specifically trying to communicate to us. For example, if I tell you, “My mother and I are not talking to each other,” what is the explicit meaning of my statement?

The facts are that we’re not talking. The meaning is that there is a tension in the relationship. Tone of voice and facial expression that imply emotion communicates meaning as well. That’s all we need to know as helpers.

Therapists, however, look for deep meaning. Deep meaning peels away many layers to reveal underlying causes and associations. A therapist might say in response to what I said about my mother, “You feel abandoned and unloved by your mother.”

You are a dearneighbor, not a therapist. Don't pretend to be one by interpreting the deeper meaning of Friends’ statements. Stay focused on the clear truth of what they convey.

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Finding the Hidden "I" (Meaning)