Swing to calm
Our first task at Stabilize is to show compassion and understanding. We show emotion that “paces” the emotions of Friends. We get into synch with them.

With Stabilize, our goal extends this foundation to making a change in Friends. We don’t do this by prying or making a direct request. We don’t say, “CALM DOWN!” or “STOP CRYING!” Both statements extinguish rapport.

Instead, we assume a leader role. We move to the center of the eye of the emotional storm. Our tone softens, our face relaxes, and we slow down our rate of speech. And then we observe.

Do Friends calm down as well? Do they become a little more reflective? Strong emotional arousal engages the limbic system in the center of the brain. If this arousal is too strong, the thinking part of the brain can shut down. By being calm and reflective, we invite Friends to join us at the center.