❖ Emotions exist in layers
Emotions like anger are rarely solitary events. We might be most aware of the anger but fear may actually be the more dominant emotion.
Emotions are like onion skins. When you peel away one, another could be layered underneath. Fear is most always "under" the anger. In some cases, sadness can be under anger.
Let's consider an example. Let's say you let your fifteen-year-old daughter go on her first car date with a sixteen-year-old boy you barely know. You give very clear instructions to both your daughter and her date that she to be home by 11:00 p.m. that night.
It is now 3:00 a.m. and she is still not home. How do you feel?
At 3:30 a.m. she walks through the front door. What emotion are you likely to express immediately to her?
Most parents would probably show anger first. As we will see later, this onion skin concept has great significance for anger management.
Next: Emotions preceding anger