We are not always in control of how we feel
In deep mourning, our grief can possess us. I will never forget the moments of heart wrenching sobs immediately following a sudden loss. I didn’t want to be in control. I was incapable of stopping myself. Furthermore, I had no desire to stop. I was riding a stallion of grief and anger. The release felt right. The grief was a statement of love. If anyone tried to console me at that point with the hope of reducing my emotional arousal, I would have ignored him or her. I had to cry, not in a quiet whimper, but in chest-heaving sobs. I felt rage in response to the “injustice” of the loss. I translated my rage into words rather than hurting myself or someone else.

What did I need that afternoon and evening? I needed someone to touch my heart, to feel the loss with me, to keep me safe from myself. I was like a little vulnerable child. I am thankful that I had another person, possibly someone like you, there to give me support.