Showing understanding does not mean giving approval
Showing we understand does NOT mean that we approve of the other's actions or feelings. We recognize that they are present and have meaning for Friends. We move off the pedestal of the judge to recognize a Friend’s view of what happened.

The closer we are emotionally to Friends (a parent and child for example), the more difficult it is to allow them to experience an emotion or perspective we think is wrong or irrational. If we try to fix the feeling or change the belief during the Stabilize phase, the more Others are likely to pull away from us.