The most important thing I learned: I have a violent daughter and an abusive husband (mostly verbally/psychologically abusive). I have been to a violence center. The statements, "emotional hijacking is so dangerous - it stops... Fireworks emphasizes getting the thinking and the emotional..." helps me to understand that by not responding immediately when angry, I am able to control myself and what I say. (with my husband I find the control easier than with my gradeschool daughter).
Course participant

Skill 12
⚡ Release physical tension
As you feel the anger rise, find where the muscle tension exists. Purposefully increase the muscle tension for a moment, then release.

#19. Dropping the ball
Releasing physical tension is often paired with taking a breath of life. To illustrate, take a small object that fits comfortably in your hand and a container that will hold it, e.g., a wadded up piece of paper and a bowl. Hold the object in your hand over the container. Then tell yourself, "Tense!" Grip the object as strongly as you can. Then after a moment, tell yourself, "Release!" Open and relax your hand and let the object fall into the bowl. Your mind is exercising control over your muscles. Try this several times. Close your eyes and focus on the actual tension in your hand and the release when you let go. Try to achieve a total release, a total relaxation in your hand.

As you engage in this holding and releasing be aware of your breathing. Bring slow and deep breathing into synch with your tension releasing. Record your observations in your journal.

Record your reaction to this experience in your journal. What relevance does this activity have for your life?

Next: Practice releasing physical tension

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