Lesson
7
Guidance as the Primary Focus
Guidance tools are used when the misbehavior cannot be prevented. They
are responses parents make to children while the problem is occurring.
Guidance tools help children learn responsibility while protecting and
strengthening their self-worth.
In each of the three tool sets (Prevention, Guidance, Consequences),
tools are organized into three levels of difficulty and challenge:
Basic
Intermediate
Advanced
Note the color symbol associate with each level. This division represents
how difficult it might be, in general, to actually use the tool effectively.
Of course, a lot depends on the child and the experience of the parent.
Ages given for each tool are approximations only. Study the basic tools
first. As you become more comfortable with these tools, return to these
pages and focus on those at an intermediate level, and finally, advanced.
Do not try to learn all of these tools at one time.
Clicking on the tool will take you to a description of that tool and
at least one example of its use.
Encourage thinking...
Explain
limits (3-18 years)
Provide
a reminder of the rule (all ages)
Ask
for the rule to be restated (3-18 years)
Ask
for consequences (4-18 years)
Ask
for solutions (4-18 years)
Use
humor (all ages)
Make
a polite request (all ages)
Emphasize
positive thinking (3-18 years)
Show concern...
Provide
a hearing (all ages)
Affirm
feelings and thoughts (all ages)
Ask
for help to understand (4-18 years)
Redirect
thinking (3-18 years)
Help
with frustrating tasks (all ages)
Contract (4-18
years)
Compromise (4-18
years)
Confront the situation...
Offer
substitutes (2-16 years)
Remove
child from situations he or she cannot handle (2-16 years)
Say NO! (all
ages)
Ignore
irrelevant behavior (all ages)
Physically
restrain the child (2-16 years)
Have
child repeat the action (4-18 years)
Give
permission (all ages)
Focus on yourself...
Stack
your resources (all ages)
Stay
relaxed (all ages)
Disconnect (all
ages)
Seek
professional help (all ages)
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