Skill 16-2
The vulnerability of feelings
The statement, "I feel cheated" is passive. If you can substitute "I believe you…" in the statement, it is not really an expression of emotion.
So the statement "I feel cheated" really means, "I think you cheated me."
I think we say these kinds of things because our anger puts us into an "attack" mode that makes revealing how we feel difficult. Revealing an emotion does make us vulnerable. We reveal something true about our inner experience. That always carries some risk. What if the other person disregards our statement or ridicules what we say?