Own your feelings
There are lots of ways to restate these comments to more accurately reflect the speaker's honest emotion. My suggestions:
❦ You broke your new toy! I'm feeling angry because I thought you would have a lot of fun playing with it. Now it's broken.
❦ I feel irritated because I think chewing with your mouth full shows bad manners, especially in public.
❦ I feel angry when I think you are being so critical of me in public.
❦ I feel angry because I find the use of such words insulting and demeaning.
❦ I feel angry right now because I want you to be safe and you are breaking the rules you agreed to when riding your bike.
We will reexamine this issue when we discuss follow-up in the Honoring lesson.
Next: Heat escalation